I finally run TODAY. 10:40 is my start time. And the good news is 31 MILLION dollars have been raised by all 210 charities participating in the race. That's incredible! That feels good!
In total I raised $3253.62. That's 65 kids who will be impacted by the ripple effect of running in the next year.
I often wonder if I am making enough of a difference in this world. My days go by quickly, mothering, wife-ing, working, running, writing my dissertation proposal. I say hi to the librarian and the security guard at the preschool. I try to be a good neighbor by waving to the barbers across the street. I try to turn off my lights when not using them to be a good steward. I'm just an average person. I'm a little lazy, I have no money, no political clout, no extensive network. Can I make a difference? Simply put, I want to know that my time here was not wasted.
These are the thoughts I have and then I stop myself and remember that through the NYC Marathon, I AM making a difference. RIGHT NOW! Today! with 47,000 runners, 2.5 million spectators,& $31 million charity dollars. That's damn big.
Through our Team for Kids journey we've met a few of the kids who benefit from the program. It's been good to hear from them for sure, but at times during this training I've forgotten about them. I've narcissistic, thinking about my running, my performance, can I get faster, can I go longer, will I finish?
This week I've have, of course, been thinking a lot about the race...the struggle, the hard work, the pacing, will I make it in under 4.5 hours so I can get my name in the NY Times? Me, me, me, me.
A couple nights ago I received a recorded voice mail from one of the kids Team for Kids supports. THE KIDS! I'm so thankful for that voice mail. It snapped me out of my plotting and planning and put me back in a place of "that's right, I'll see THE KIDS on the course. They'll cheer me on, they'll high five me, they'll give me the energy I need to finish and more importantly I'll remember that this is not about me!"
THEY BENEFIT from my running. Their lives are CHANGED because of this program. Many of them will find opportunity through running where there was no chance of opportunity without it. They will find their character, their integrity, their compassion and sportsmanship. They will grow and mature and become resilient in very real ways.
Who cares how I do on marathon day?! It's the kids (plural!) who are forever changed. 65 kids changed because of little ol' 1/2 assed, usually over committed, a lot of the time self-centered me. It's the butterfly effect people! The butterfly effect in spite of my weaknesses!
* A quick draw from Wikipedia: "In chaos theory, the butterfly effect is the sensitive dependence on initial conditions; where a small change at one place in a nonlinear system can result in large differences to a later state. The effect derives its name from the theoretical example of a hurricane's formation being contingent on whether or not a distant butterfly had flapped its wings several weeks before."
Not to sound overly confident, but I AM A BUTTERFLY. Maybe not as beautiful as a butterfly, but just as tiny in the scheme of things. It's like that mustard seed faith that can move mountains. We are BUTTERFLIES and just flapping our wings can CREATE A HURRICANE.
$3253.62 raised by me in this journey = 65 kids who get to run next year. 65 kids who will impact their friends and family. The ripples will go on and on and on.
31 Million Bucks raised by the 210 NYC Marathon charities.
The butterfly effect.
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